“How to be awkward” with Ramit Sethi

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Candidate,

Smooth? Debonair? Graceful?

These were not words used to describe me.

I was once at a wedding, standing in a group of five people. We were all talking and I started asking one of the people a few questions.

A lot of questions were normal — "What do you do?" and "Where are you from?" — but I got interested and asked a few more.

After a couple minutes, you could feel the energy suck out of the group. It was like a cosmic vacuum. People started shifting uneasily on their feet … looking in different directions … and moving their glass from one hand to the other.

Finally, one guy turned to me and said, "Damn, are you practicing to be an interrogator?"

CAN YOU SPOT WHAT I DID WRONG?

This week, we're going to talk about how to talk to anybody — smoothly, comfortably, even if you've felt awkward or weird talking to people before.

Tomorrow, I'll reveal my blunder. And I'll tell you why one of the most common pieces of advice you've heard about being likable simply isn't true — in fact, it's sabotaging your conversations.

For now, reply to this email, and tell me two things:

What did I do wrong in this conversation?

If you could improve your social skills, what would it mean? What would you be able to do? Walk into a room and chat up anyone? Feel confident? How would it impact your life?

Reply to this email and let me know. I can't wait to read your analyses.